You met someone who is the perfect combination of cute and sexy, but you’re not sure if their admiration for you matches your admiration 🤤 for them. So what do you do? Do you make a move, stay ‘friends’ with the person and secretly drool over them for years, or do you move on? (Read: From Friend-zone to Date-zone in 3 Simple Steps)
Luckily, you don’t have to be that person anymore: You don’t have to shove yourself into the friend-zone before anything more has the chance to begin, or miss the opportunity to be with them because you misread the signs. All you need to know in order to succeed is to understand what signs to look out for and avoid the number one mistake that people make!
The initial ‘thing’ that catches someone’s special attention could be anything from physical attraction, personality, intelligence, ‘chemistry’ to just ‘something about you’. We are all attracted to a variety of different people for a variety of different reasons. I have met many people who disqualify themselves in this initial stage because they do not think they are attractive enough. They assume that because they do not live up to their own preconceived ideals of ‘attractiveness’ that they will not live up to other peoples’ ideals either.
This means that many people either miss opportunities and ‘signs’ because they think they do not stand a chance, or they notice the signs and opportunities but are too afraid to do anything about it.
Body language experts have identified some key indications that express attraction. Some of them are:
1) Making and maintaining eye contact
3) Leaning forward or towards person of interest
4) Making unnecessary physical contact (like touching the arm or back)
5) Dressing ‘up’ (thought goes into appearance)
Other obvious indicators of attraction would be initiating contact and regular contact, such as asking for someone’s number or finding them on social media, and then conversing with them regularly. And the most obvious indicator of all would be if someone had to ask you out….
HOWEVER: (Things to take into consideration)
These are all ideal situations. In an ideal world we would all make and maintain eye-contact, smile, be completely charming and look absolutely fabulous. However, in the real world it is not so straight-forward. People are all different: we all have different personalities, different upbringings, come from different cultures and have different levels of confidence.
1) People respond differently
In a survey I conducted online I asked over 100 participants how they feel when their interest is around. 65% said that they feel awkward, shy or insecure, only 23% indicated confidence, and the rest said that they feel ‘in awe’ or ‘nervously excited’.
Next, I asked them how they act. 63% indicated that they either talk way too much, say stupid things they wouldn’t normally say, become very quiet or act in some way different to how they would normally be. Only 16% said they would be charming or flirty, and 21% said they remain the same.
Furthermore, 74% said that when their interest is around they try their best to act ‘normal’ and not pay too much attention to the person, 10% indicated that they avoid the person completely but keep track of where they are in the room, and only 16% said that they would go up to the person and pay obvious attention to them.
2) Most people do nothing
I asked participants how long they would wait before contacting a new interest. 24% said they would contact them immediately, 17% said they would wait 1 day, 8% held to the ‘3-day rule’, 8% indicated about a week or longer, and a whopping 43% said that they would not contact their interest at all.
When I asked participants how often they would contact an interest, 11% said all day every day, 18% said they would initiate contact once a day, 20% said every second or third day, 9% indicated once a week or longer, and 42% said that they wait to be contacted.
3) Dating vs Friendship: A true indicator?
87% indicated that they would pursue friendship with the person they are interested in. Only 11% said that they would ask the person on a date, and only 2% said they would try make an advance.
As you can see, people are diverse and we don’t always do things according to how they ‘ideally’ should be done. Confidence is a big factor when it comes to actually showing interest. It is easy to be interested in someone, but showing it requires confidence and vulnerability.
So how do you know if someone is attracted to you? Watch this super short video to find out:
The NUMBER ONE MISTAKE that people make:
The number one biggest and most common mistake people make in this stage is this: They assume that the other person doesn’t like them. CONFIDENCE is key in both creating attraction and recognizing it. People are attracted to people who appear confident. And on the flip side it’s difficult – almost impossible- to recognize someone showing an interest in you if you are consumed with your own insecurities.
If you consider the list above of the body language ‘signs’, you will notice that all of them require a level of confidence. Confidence to be able to convey attraction, and confidence to be able to receive it. (Read: how to be confident (without faking))
So, now that you know if someone is interested, its up to you what you will do about it. For more information on how to tell if someone is GENUINELY interested in you, read: 6 Signs Someone is Genuinely Interested in You